XI. The Urban Streets

The Web as a Vehicle for Folkstock

Surely one of the most amazing examples of the power of oral folklore can be found in the rise of Urban Legend sites on the WWW.  To find any legend you want to know about by category, you can check out:

The AFU and Urban Legend Archive

which has been on the internet since 1991.  Early and often, legends have been collected, collated, told and retold, and circulated in countless e-mails. Of course the PURPOSE of AFU is to debunk these legends, or at least to provide a modicum of truth.  But the sneaky thing about an Urban Legend is that right after someone debunks it, another person is passing it on as a true story they just heard from a reliable friend.  In this way, Urban Legends seem to play exactly the role that Jung and the psychological crowd predicted.  It just might be true that we tell these stories to quiet our own inner demons.  Certainly Urban Legends are rarely useful as reliable cautionary tales.

Legends are updated weekly, with new material - one new legend concerns Slavemaster:

Caption:  Two Dobermans at the Gate

Synopsis
A serial killer who goes by the name of 'slavemaster' is using the Internet to lure victims to their deaths. 

See the story here. 
Is it true? 
Not any more. 
Why?
John Edward Robinson, Sr. did use the Internet pen name 'slavemaster' in arranging
sado-masochistic encounters that sometimes ended in murder. 

Law enforcement authorities investigating a missing person report discovered the
bodies of two women in 55 gallon drums on Robinson's property in La Cygne,
Kansas. Further searches discovered three more bodies in barrels in a storage
locker rented by Robinson in Raymore, Missouri. 

On June 2, 2000, Robinson was arrested for the murders of five women and is
currently being held on $5-million bond. Law enforcement authorities are
investigating other disappearances in the mid to late 1980s to determine if there are
other victims. 
When?
August 2000
Comments
Law enforcement authorities are investigating the disappearance of three other
women and a child that may have involved Robinson.  See also
Possible link probed between missing people, suspect in barrel deaths from
CNN  Barrel killings probe expands to Florida from CNN 
One of 2 bodies found in barrels on Kansas farm may be missing Polish immigrant, prosecutor says from CNN  'Slavemaster' Warning from About.com 
Slavemaster from the Urban Legends Reference Pages 

The Alt.Folklore.Urban Legends began back in the days of the old Lycos web, all text -- a veritable community that formed around Urban Legends and grew with remarkable speed to comprise a huge collection of both traditional and non-traditional legends.  They came in this form:

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: jack@cee.hw.ac.uk (Jack Campin)
Subject: Re: Re(2): Rat(s) eat baby
Date: Fri, 17 Jun 1994 14:34:42 GMT

inf0rmat@bottom.uucp.netcom.com wrote:
> In Article <427945950.71045384@lamgnet.lamg.com>, Lazz@lamg.com Writes:
>> I collect Forensic Pathology books, and LET ME TELL YOU there are many cases
>> of rats AND household pets Mostly dogs) who will chew away at a dead or
>> incapacitated persons skin. I have color photographs! Suitable for framing!
> GIFs BABY! Let's see 'em!

Time for a repost. 

: Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.tasteless,rec.pets.dogs
: Subject: Lassie gagged on my aorta

The alt.folklore.urban FAQ says: 

> F. Days-old body in home discovered headless. Was eaten by dog!

where the "F" means the author thinks it's definitely bogus. I described a source to the contrary in a.f.u yesterday but got some of the details wrong. Here's the full scoop: 

Removal of head from body by a dog

A man of sixty-three, who resided in a single room of a house in a small village, had not been seen by any of his acquaintances for a period of four days. The police broke into the locked house and found the headless body of the man lying in front of the fireplace. The body was fully clothed. A collie dog was also in the room, and the attitude which it assumed was one of marked hostility. For this reason it was shot immediately. Examination of the body showed that death had been due to natural causes, namely coronary disease, and that the dog had been responsible for the decapitation (see Fig. 89). The head had been severed close to the level of the upper borders of the sternum and clavicles, in front, and the line of severance had been continued to the back, at a fairly uniform level. The wound of severance, which showed serrations, was of lacerated type. The cervical vertebrae, with the exception of the seventh, which showed irregular damage to structure, were missing. The arch of the aorta, part of the trachea, most of the esophagus, and the upper lobe of the left lung had been removed. The condition of the body was consistent with death having occurred some four or five days prior to examination, and the nature of the injuries were consistent with having been caused by the teeth of a dog of the type found in the house. All the injuries had been made after death. A post-mortem examination of the dog showed that the stomach, which was full, contained portions of the following structures, namely, skin,
under-tissue, muscle, bone, lung, brain, trachea, and aorta. A piece of scalp tissue, with greyish-white hair attached, and three bundles of greyish-white hair, were also found. In all, twenty-seven pieces of bone were recovered. Vomited matter, found on the floor of the room, was found to contain fourteen pieces of lung tissue, the largest of which measured 5 by 3 inches. At the house and on the floor, the greater part of the denuded vault of the skull was found. The lower half of the occipital bone, together with the entire base of the skull, and the bones of the face, excepting the lower mandible, were missing. Pericranial tissue was irregularly present over the vault, to which numerous whitish-grey hairs were adherent. The major part of the lower mandible was found near the dog. The edges of the skull were markedly irregular and showed a gnawed appearance. In the absence of both food and water, the dog had been driven to desperation by hunger and thirst, and for this reason had attacked the exposed part of the body of its dead master. 

pp. 265-266 of "Medical Jurisprudence and Toxicology", by John Glaister, M.D., D.Sc., Fellow of the Royal Faculty of Physicians and Surgeons, Glasgow; of the Inner Temple, Barrister-at-Law, etc. Regius Professor of Forensic Medicine, University of Glasgow; formerly Professor of Forensic Medicine, University of Egypt, Cairo; and Medico-Legal Consultant to the Egyptian Government. SEVENTH EDITION With One Hundred and Thirty-Two Illustrations. Several in Colour.
Edinburgh; E. & S. Livingstone, 16 and 17 Teviot Place. 1942. 

Fig. 89 is a monochrome picture, mid-chest up, of a man lying on a mortuary slab with his neck chewed away down to the collarbones. Sorry, no scanner, and the picture is too poor in quality to scan well. 

Caption:  Magician's Hat and Cane/Wand

The Neiman-Marcus Cookie (Urban Legend)



This message is sent to you with the hope you will forward it to EVERYONE you have ever even seen the e-mail
address of. In the spirit of the originator, please feel free to post it anywhere and everywhere. 


Okay, everyone....a true story of justice in the good old U.S. of A. Thought y'all might enjoy this; if nothing else, it shows internet justice, if it can be called that. 

My daughter & I had just finished a salad at Neiman-Marcus Cafe in Dallas & decided to have a small dessert. Because our family are such cookie lovers, we decided to try the "Neiman-Marcus Cookie". It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe and they said with a small frown, "I'm afraid not." Well, I said, would you let me buy the recipe? With a cute smile, she said, "Yes." I asked how much, and she responded, "Two fifty." I said with approval, just add it to my tab. 

Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement from Neiman-Marcus and it was $285.00. I looked again and I remembered I had only spent $9.95 for two salads and about $20.00 for a scarf. As I glanced at the bottom of the statement, it said, "Cookie Recipe - $250.00." Boy, was I upset!! I called Neiman's Accounting Dept. and told them
the waitress said it was "two fifty," and I did not realize she meant $250.00 for a cookie recipe. 

I asked them to take back the recipe and reduce my bill and they said they were sorry, but because all the recipes were this expensive so not just everyone could duplicate any of our bakery recipes....the bill would stand. 

I waited, thinking of how I could get even or even try and get any of my money back. 

I just said, "Okay, you folks got my $250.00 and now I'm going to have $250.00 worth of fun." I told her that I was going to see to it that every cookie lover will have a $250.00 cookie recipe from Neiman-Marcus for nothing. She replied, "I wish you wouldn't do this." I said, "I'm sorry but this is the only way I feel I could get even," and I will. 

So, here it is, and please pass it to someone else or run a few copies....I paid for it; now you can have it for free. 

(Recipe may be halved.): 

2 cups butter, 4 cups flower, 2 tsp. soda, 2 cups sugar, 5 cups blended oatmeal**, 24 oz. chocolate chips, 2 cups brown sugar, 1 tsp. salt, 1 8 oz. Hershey Bar (grated), 4 eggs, 2 tsp. baking powder, 3 cups chopped nuts (your choice), 2 tsp. vanilla 

** measure oatmeal and blend in a blender to a fine powder. Cream the butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla; mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and soda. Add chocolate chips, Hershey Bar and nuts. Roll into balls and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees. Makes 112 cookies. Have fun!!! This is not a joke --- this is a true story.. 


That's it. Please, pass it along to everyone you know, single people, mailing lists, etc..... 

Ride free, citizen! 

Caption:  Alien Slave

Mouse Balls (Urban Legend)



I've included the to/from stuff from this e-mail message (although I've removed the actual addresses), because I thought it interesting that the sender identified it as an urban legend. I think the first time I saw this, the word "allegedly" wasn't included. Apparently this one is now regarded as fiction, where originally it was regarded as fact by many recipients. This, in particular, is what can be used to identify this as an urban legend.

Date: Mon, 13 Nov 1995 15:09:19 -0500 
From: Mike Dosenbach 
To: Cindy Landrum 
Subject: Mouse Balls 

This is the biggest piece of urban legend I've ever seen for "computer people". Notice the use of the word "allegedly". I first saw this years ago.  Thought you might appreciate it. 

Mike 

================= Begin forwarded message ================= 

Allegedly an actual note that went to all IBM Field Engineers: 

Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) 

Mouse balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel. 

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse can be used immediately. 

It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items. 

To re-order, specify one of the following: 
P/N 33F8462 - Domestic Mouse Balls 
P/N 33F8461 - Foreign Mouse Balls 

Caption:  Bust of Legendary Pan

Ghost Lore/Personal Experience Narrative

from archives:  Alt.Folklore.Urban

My junior year in college I was living with my friends Katie (or KT), and Jen in a small flat in
a house. The radiator in the room that KT and I shared wasn't working, and as winter came,
it got colder and colder. We called our landlord out to fix it, but the next day it wasn't
working again. We probably called him out five times, and each time it would start working and then quit. Finally we decided that it wasn't a natural problem. This radiator must be posessed. So KT, who had watched a friend exorcise something, decided we should perform an exorcism. So we put a ring of salt around the radiator (at the end of the year, I think we still had salt in that corner). Next we had to put another item in the salt ring for the demon to go into. KT had a loofah sponge that she didn't want anymore, so she decided to use it. I thought it might be too porous to contain a demon, but I gave way to KT's superior expertise. So then we put on some Enja, because we needed good vibes to fill the room with, and then KT said, very sternly, three times, "Get out of the Radiator and into
the Loofah." 

Sure enough, after that, that radiator worked!

Cow as Satan with Pitchfork

Continue with Lecture XI.